I kissed a boy at a football game

You guys, Fuck Face paid me on time and I didn’t even have to ask.


It’s only been 20 months?

So how have you been?

I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.

I’ve had a few setbacks in life, some illness that put me on my ass for two weeks, another bad date and major difficulties finding a second job.

On the bright side, I’m going to Cuba(!!), joined a kickball and volleyball league and went to my first Gators game (which was amazing!)

And I’ve completely stopped dating. For real this time I promise. It’s just not worth the energy.

I will say, Single Dad regularly asks me if he can come over and rub my back.

Clearly he doesn’t know how this “just friends” thing works.

Or maybe he’s really good at it?


I’ve decided to focus all my energy into having amazing experiences with my friends.

Gainesville round II is happening in a few weeks.

I do have one slight confession.

I drank a lot over the weekend in Gainesville (shut up, that’s not the confession) and made out with/canoodled a guy pretty much the whole time I was there. Nothing more happened, just a shared bed and a back rub. And really that’s all I want — like ever.

That’s perfectly acceptable right?

He lives far away and we both knew it was a one-night, drunken-stupor thing.


Oh this is a fun story.

I had a dream I crashed Fuck Face’s wedding (not that he’s getting married but I really don’t know) while wearing my wedding dress from our wedding. Awesome huh? I was so emotional when I woke up I almost cried on the treadmill during my morning workout.

So I blasted some hateful music, cursed his name and moved on.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed he keeps paying me on time so we don’t have to communicate.

Only four years left of payments!

Woohoo! (more like (#*$&!!)

Titleless and bitchy

I’m sitting at Starbucks applying for jobs.

No, it’s not what you think. I’m looking for a part-time gig on the weekends because my divorce and playing a little too hard (read: enjoying my new-found freedom) over the past year has made me BROKE.

I now need to dig myself out of a financial hole and set a shit ton of money aside to be my best friend’s maid of honor.

Yay me.

I hate weddings.

And if I really want to jump ship again and move to a big city, I’m going to need some funds so I don’t wind up selling body parts.

Oh and student loan people are up my ass to pay them.

So if ya’ll know of any rich people who are willing to give money away, I would be willing to take those funds off their hands.

In other news, I’m still on a dating hiatus.

But that didn’t stop a guy from hitting on me at the grocery store. Ballsey eh?

I gave him my number, he seemed nice, normal and attractive.

We exchanged texts for two days before I realized we had nothing in common. For starters he doesn’t drink.

Ya’ll know I can’t function without my wine.

And my final straw was when he said goodnight and told me to dream about him.

Um, no.

And that was that.

You want to hear something totally TMI? If not, just stop reading now.

Today I “cleaned up” down stairs.

I had a forest growing.

OK you can laugh, but don’t act like it hasn’t happened to you.

I know I only did it for myself but I’m totally OK with that!

I’m still working my way out of this hibernation funk that’s causing my ass to get bigger.

Are you really still laughing at me?


It’s OK, I know I’m a hot mess.

Thanks for reading ;)

Dating loopholes

Oi vey.

I’ve been avoiding you guys. 

It’s nothing personal, I’m just a little lost and bruised from the regular beatings from life.

Here’s a funny story. Only it’s not funny it actually really sucked.

Met up with a guy I was chatting with online. We hit it off. He was 37, single dad of teens and was seeking adventure, much like I am. We spent two great weeks together filled with kayaking, great dinner dates and really forming a bond. He even randomly bought a ring from a vender set up by the water one night. Nothing crazy you guys, just a pretty dolphin ring for fun.

Here’s the best part. We had plans on a Saturday, he blew me off and I never heard from him again. 

That was three weeks ago. 

And that dolphin ring? I pulled a Kendra:  

I’ve quit all online dating. 

Which really means I’ve quit dating all together because I can’t seem to meet guys any other way. YAY.

I’ve spent some downtown with friends and put so much of my focus into my career.

I’m also trying to find a second job waiting tables so I can get my finances together. If I really want to move in a year I need to get my shit together! 

No more random trips to Target. (Damn you target).

So yes, life is pretty boring at the moment. Stay with me, I’m sure things will get crazy again knowing my track record and all.

When the lows are really low

Feeling lost and confused the past few weeks and lucky for all you poor souls. you get to listen to me rant for a few moments.

The highs have been so high here — but the lows have also been very low.

Some days I feel like I lack a purpose. There are things I want so badly, yet I feel like I have zero control over getting them.

And so I’ve toyed with what I’m going to do in a year when my lease runs out.

Right now, moving to a big city sounds like an amazing adventure.

Florida has been such a blessing in my healing process but in a way I feel like it’s run its course.

I’ve had seven, yes seven people I’ve become extremely close with move away over the past year.

And I’m about to lose yet another very good friend.

I’m sad you guys.

I’m tired, too.

And I feel so stupid for be depressed in such a beautiful place. I practically live on the beach for Pete’s sake.

So what’s a girl to do? Chase new adventures in a big city like Boston?

I know so much of this stems from the hell Fuck Face put me through.

I feel like everyone in my life always ends up leaving.

So many feelings.

Fuck feelings.

Remember when I was dead inside?

That made all of this so much easier.

I hate to let my secret out, but it had to be said.

I’m lost.

I pray a lot.


Have you heard of Project Semicolon?

The movement hits close to home. I’m sure I’ve touched briefely on wanting to turn my emotional pain into physical pain in the weeks following the end of my marriage.

I just love what the movement stands for — and right now, it’s reminding me of how far I’ve come on this journey.

Thanks for listening. I know I rant and bitch and complain and cuss and drink and smoke and whatever. I’m human too. I’m thankful for you for caring.


Back in the saddle

Hey blog world. Long time no talk, eh?

I’ve been back from Colorado for almost three weeks and I took some time to just veg, and eat, and drink when I got home.

I think it was the very last step in the mourning process of my old life.

(Photo is in Colorado with my sister)


Army guy is gone. I have not heard a single word from him since he wished me safe travles.

And that’s totally OK.

The sex was terrible, And really I only had fun with him when we were drunk.


I was pretty bummed when I got back from Colorado. I let myself sift in my own self pitty and drown my sorrows with pot and ice cream for about a week.

I had to fight SO hard to get myself out of that funk. I got my (now 5 pounds heavier) ass out of bed every morning to hit the gym and started making plans with friends again.

For a minute, they almost had to bring flashlights into my cave to find me and pull me out.

Shall we delve into why I was such a hot fucking mess?

It’s part I miss my family and my home state. It was part realizing nothing has changed from back home. The people and the places are the same and I found myself bored after four days. It’s part I’m still single and this sucks. And it’s part I still despise Fuck Face.

All is good though, I dug myself out of that depression hell hole.

I did some more flying last weekend and had a great drunken night with some friends. (Photo is in Sarasota)


I have no crazy stories for you.

You’re shocked, I know.

Give me another week and I’m sure I’ll have something juicy.

Just breathe

Checking in from Colorado as I sit in the sunshine on my aunt and uncle’s deck. There is nobody home and I spent the morning by myself, running around the reservoir across the street. 

It felt so good to reconnect with myself and this place all alone this morning. I really needed this recharge. 

I lived in his home for almost four months. I moved in the day after I caught my now ex-husband (Fuck Face for your loyal readers) cheating on me eight months into out marriage. 

In a way, I feel like a ran away from this state and my home. Which in a way I did. I worked my ass off to find a great job in Florida and start a new adventure in my life. 

I regret absolutely nothing. And I for the first time, completely love my life. 

I know this place will always be home and will welcome me with open arms. 

Yes this is a cheesy, stupid emotional post but you know what? I did it you guys. I went through the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and here I am coming out on the other side. I feel like finally coming home after more than a year and facing all the dark places I left behind is the last step in my healing process. 

I did it.

With a little dignity.

A little class.

And a lot of wine and weed.

My family and friends are my rock. The ocean healed my soul. 

I did it.    


“No Boys Allowed” (while I’m gone)

Whelp, this is it. I leave for the motherland (Colorado) in 12 hours.

I’m beyond excited for the people, the food, the beer and the weed.

I also have this annoying voice deep inside of me telling me this is going to be hard. It’ll bring up emotions and memories I’ve been so good at suppressing for more than a year, (Damn you feelings!)

(Enter weed to shut that bitch up)

I’ve got a lot of awesome stuff planned and people to see. I’ve also got a lot of people I’m avoiding and places I don’t care to see.

I do know Fuck Face will be out of town.

I know you are yelling at your computer, asking me how I know that.

I had to harass him (you know, my monthly ritual) about money.

I ended the conversation saying “I’m going to be in town next week, let’s do our best to avoid any awkward run ins.”

Which should read “If I see you or your piece-of-shit home-wrecking girlfriend there will be hell (and my first girl fight).”

I promise I really am an adult.

This trip will be a nice break from the horrendous thing people call dating.

Army guy is done. And as my grandmother put it, “another one bites the dust.”

Between the mediocre sex and the fact that he watched TV while I made dinner, I decided I WILL NOT take care of someone again.

I had a great girls’ weekend with my roommate which involved brunch, mimosas on the beach, catching the sunrise and one last smoke sesh with a girlfriend moving out of the country.

Looking forward to a clean dating slate when I get back.

Wish me luck (and a run-in free) week in Colorado!

dacia_yoga dacia2 dacia3 dacia4