I’ve been MIA for months, again.
I’m leaving for Colorado in a week and I’ll be there for two weeks.
If that means nothing to you then you’ve got some reading (my entire blog) to do.
But here’s a brief version:
I grew up in Colorado, got married when I was 25 and nine months later I found out my husband (we call him Fuck Face) was having an emotional affair with a girl from work. I moved out the next day, made him pay for the divorce and three months later I moved to Florida. I didn’t know a single person except for my grandparents who live two hours away.
That was two and a half years ago.
It was the hardest but best thing that every happened to me.
I’ve been back to Colorado once, it was emotional, diffacult and amazing.
I’m going back again and this time I’m bringing my boyfriend of 9 months.
I’m the maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding (which is an issue in itself.)
I’m really excited to visit but there’s a lot of pressure to show M (boyfriend) what an amazing place Colorado is. There’s pressure on him meeting my dad (though he’s met most of my family already) and best friend. There’s pressure to show my old life that I’m thriving in my new life and there’s pressure to relax and enjoy it, something I’m really not good at.
So that wedding thing … a year ago when she asked me to be MOH I was dredding the job. She was my MOH and the whole situation reminded me that my marriage failed. I don’t want to remember my wedding so I had a really hard time wanting to be such a big part of hers.
It’s taken some time and self reflection to realize that I need to be a good friend and be there for her.
I hesitated bringing M but my mom said he would make the experience so much better.
I hope she’s right. He’s pretty excited to join me. We get a few days to ourselves to hike and drink good beer.
The wedding should be … interesting.
A few of her girlfriends don’t exacly love me. And one girl is married to Fuck Face’s brother’s best friend. (keeping up?)
Life is good. Work is good. M and I are happy. I’ve joined a new bootcamp-style gym and have gotten in pretty good shape, you know, to make sure I look fly in that MOH dress.
He told me I was the love of his life last week.
I didn’t know what to say. I love him more and very differently than any other man I’ve loved (OK boys, and there were two.)
We have our issues as any couple does. And at least once a week I’m convinced he’s going to leave like Fuck Face did.
Every day is a challenge. But every day is also a gift.
Let’s talk again soon (I hope)
More random photos