I’m sitting at Starbucks applying for jobs.
No, it’s not what you think. I’m looking for a part-time gig on the weekends because my divorce and playing a little too hard (read: enjoying my new-found freedom) over the past year has made me BROKE.
I now need to dig myself out of a financial hole and set a shit ton of money aside to be my best friend’s maid of honor.
I hate weddings.
And if I really want to jump ship again and move to a big city, I’m going to need some funds so I don’t wind up selling body parts.
Oh and student loan people are up my ass to pay them.
So if ya’ll know of any rich people who are willing to give money away, I would be willing to take those funds off their hands.
In other news, I’m still on a dating hiatus.
But that didn’t stop a guy from hitting on me at the grocery store. Ballsey eh?
I gave him my number, he seemed nice, normal and attractive.
We exchanged texts for two days before I realized we had nothing in common. For starters he doesn’t drink.
Ya’ll know I can’t function without my wine.
And my final straw was when he said goodnight and told me to dream about him.
And that was that.
You want to hear something totally TMI? If not, just stop reading now.
Today I “cleaned up” down stairs.
I had a forest growing.
OK you can laugh, but don’t act like it hasn’t happened to you.
I know I only did it for myself but I’m totally OK with that!
I’m still working my way out of this hibernation funk that’s causing my ass to get bigger.
Are you really still laughing at me?
It’s OK, I know I’m a hot mess.
Thanks for reading ;)