Let me tell you a little story.
After about three months of being separated from fuck face (read: ex-husband who cheated) my very gay uncle who I love dearly sent me a letter. He told me how awesome of a person I am and that he and his partner are thinking about me. He also used a few curse words involving fuck face’s name.
Also in the letter was a very little woven man who he named David.
He said he once got one of these little men from a friend. And legend says if you name the little man after someone you don’t care for, then drop said man in a small cup of water and freeze him, it will help you get over those bad feelings.
That little man was taped to the letter on my refrigerator until two weeks ago when, after being so tired of for some damn reason thinking about fuck face, I finally dropped “David” in to a cup of water and froze that little ass hole.
On Monday, I received this:
I told my grandmother, who laughed. Then said OK, take him out of the freezer and let him thaw out for a while. He really needs a job so he can pay you.
He is thawing out on the stove.